Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Prayers for E....

I'm praying someone tucked you into bed tonight, cuddled and loved on you. I hope they sang you a lullaby as you drifted off into blissful sleep.

Do you know there is a mama across the globe who is smitten with your dimpled cheeks, sweet curls, and dark eyes? Who stares at your pictures endlessly? Who absolutely adores you?

Praying for you tonight, sweet girl.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Preparing...

As we prepare for the next coming months of bringing E home we have been asked by friends and family how they can support us during the transition. I wanted to share a blog post I found that pretty much sums up how to "be the village" adoptive families need during the first months home.

It is kind of long, but has some good key points. Read it here.

I have been keeping pretty busy between work, conference calls, and life so time has been flying by. I know that we will be on the plane to Ethiopia before we know it. My whole life I have dreamed of going to Africa to serve and work with orphaned children. It is hard to believe I will be flying there in a couple of weeks meeting my daughter for the very first time. The anticipation and excitement I feel is hard to describe!

I am so thankful that Nate and I get to be on this journey together. I am already in awe of how he talks about "his little girl," and I think it is funny how preoccupied he is planning for E's arrival. Nate is in full on nesting mode (he finally agreed on the perfect bedspread for her room) and is harassing me to pick out a paint color. Chilax Daddy, we need something to concentrate on while we wait on Embassy.

Oliver loves looking at E's picture and asking about his "baby sister." He keeps asking when she will come to stay the night....I'm not sure he grasps that she will be staying indefinitely! He also really wants to fly to Ethiopia with us. Can you imagine a 24 hour flight with a toddler?! I'll save that adventure for when we bring our girl home. Lord help me.

Speaking of flights, we will now need to buy an additional ticket since E will not be a lap child. I am thinking of doing another photography mini-session fundraiser this spring (between trips). Hopefully this Oregon weather will clear up soon.

Lastly, we hope to bring some donations with us to Hannah's Hope, the transition center E currently resides at. Hannah's Hope is a wonderful facility that relies largely on donations. There is always a need for items. If you feel led to donate let us know! We will be collecting over the next week.

Hannah's Hope is always in need of:

Diapers (cloth; all sizes including preemie sizes)
Baby wipes
Shampoo, conditioner, and lotion for older children
Hand sanitizer
Formula (including soy)
Men's and woman's deodorant
Toothbrushes/toothpaste
Vitamins
Children's ibuprofen
Children's Tylenol
Croc shoes (child and adult sizes)




Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Call....

I thought I would document how we received the referral of our precious girl!

It all started the evening of February 23rd. Nate and I had a chance to go out to eat (just the two of us!) which doesn't happen very often. We decided to go to our favorite Indian food restaurant.

During dinner we basically talked about the adoption the entire time. I was feeling exhausted, defeated, and frustrated with how long the process was taking. I feared it would be another year before we brought a child home. Nate always knows exactly how to comfort and motivate me. He encouraged me to turn my fear into faith that night at dinner.

Nate on the other hand, had been feeling positive that we would be receiving a referral soon. Weeks before, Nate had been waking up in the middle of the night restless (and trust me, from the sound of his snoring, he is never restless!) He shared that he felt a "stirring" about the adoption.....and anticipated things would be happening soon.....

Let me back up and explain that overall, we are not "feely" people. Yes, I trust God and His ultimate timing, provision, and guidance. But, God gave me a brain to use too. When Nate shared his middle of the night stirring with me I told him that he was just getting his hopes up and needed to go back to bed :)

He kept talking about it though, and this prompted us to try and sell our car on craigslist. We wanted to make sure we had the finances in place, in case of a referral. I felt it was far fetched to be lucky enough to sell our car online, for the price it was worth. I was surprised when it sold in 2 days, leaving us enough money for our referral fees if we were to be so lucky.

I am so glad Nate had that "stirring", and that we sold our car!

Back to the story.....

We came home from dinner, put Oliver to bed and settled in for the night. I checked my email and there was a beautiful little girl who was considered a "waiting child" because no families on our agency's waiting list matched her parameters.

I full on ran into the living room where Nate was. I think that was the fastest I've moved in years:) Nate lifted one eyebrow at me like I was a little crazy. He usually thinks I'm a little bonkers overall, but after our talk at dinner that night about all my messed up adoption hormones, he gave me the look like I was a crazed cat hoarders kinda crazy lady.

I spurted out something like, "there is a girl, she is precious! We need to inquire about her NOW! She turns 3 tomorrow! This could be our daughter! Ahhhh!"

When Nate saw the email, his heart melted too. We said a quick prayer for that cute little face. We prayed that even if we weren't meant to be the parents of sweet little E, that she would find a family tomorrow no matter what.

Then I sent a heartfelt email to my adoption agency. I knew that E was a little older than what our agency wanted for our family, but this little girl had taken my heart. I tried to sleep that night, yeah right.

Morning came, Nate went to work and I had the day off. I couldn't eat, I was such a ball of nerves! Nate kept calling and texting me all morning asking if I had heard anything. Around 10am, I called and left a message with my case manager to make sure she got my email.

At 11am, I decided I needed to go run some errands to get my mind off of it all. I had convinced myself that little E was NOT going to be our daughter. I was driving when my case manager called and thanked me for my email and phone call. She said that after lunch the staff was going to meet and discuss which family was right for E. There had been a few other inquires on her.....

I told my case manager that I would have my phone in my hand the rest of the afternoon....she laughed.

I still couldn't eat. I stared at the waiting child email. I prayed, I hoped, I cried, I talked myself into being prepared for rejection.

At 3:30pm, my case manager called. She totally faked me out, and had a disappointed tone in her voice. She said things like: E is older than AGCI wanted for our family. How they are concerned that her and Oliver may be in the same grade at school. She talked about "artificial twining."

I uttered, "Oh, okay..."

And then She said in a bubbly voice, "But we were not surprised to see how interested you were in E, and we ultimately knew that you are the family for her!"

My eyes welled with tears. All I could do was thank her, and thank my Jesus.

We conference called Nate in from work and heard all about E. We laughed, we cried, we hurt for this precious girl. We learned just how much she had been through in her short little life. We felt immediate peace about her story, and had no doubt that she was perfect for our family. We accepted her referral on her 3rd birthday.

She no longer was an orphan, she had a family.

Sweet little E muffin cakes,

Mama and Daddy love you so much! We can't wait to be your forever family. We have prayed for you for two years. We have longed, hurt, and ached for you. When we learned your story, we began to see how God was bringing our two lives together even from half a world away. We know you have hurt, grieved, and been through so, so much. We want to help you heal your heart, and find assurance and hope for your future. We can't wait to bring you home sweet girl. We love you.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Packing our bags.....court date!

We found out that we have a court date already! This is really exciting news for us and means that we have started preparing to go meet our daughter. Plane tickets have been purchased, travel shots are scheduled, and a series of conference calls have been had.

We are knee deep in attachment and bonding research, and connecting with other adoptive families who have gone this road before us. I am so grateful to have the support of all these amazing families!

I have a few more sweet pictures of our girl, oh I can't wait to get my arms around her! She seems to be a little timid and shy from what I've heard, but very sweet and tender too.

We will travel to Ethiopia and spend approximately a week there. During this time we will be interacting with E and spending time at her transition center, Hannah's Hope. During the week, we will go to court and gain custody of E. While we will then be seen as the legal parents of E in Ethiopia, the adoption will not be recognized in the U.S. until we pass Embassy (this is the purpose of the second trip we will take to Ethiopia).

In all this excitement, I find myself having such a wide range of emotions. Today, I actually broke down and cried at the nurse's station at work. It hit me all of a sudden that E's birth family member was testifying at that moment, and relinquishing her rights as E's legal guardian. The emotions and the immensity of the decision overwhelmed me. I literally hurt for this family member of E, and can't even fathom how they must be grieving the loss of sweet little E. While we are so blessed to bring E into our family the hard truth of the matter is, that adoption is born of loss. Today, I felt the heaviness and pain that adoption brings, and the hurts, confusion, and transitions sweet E is going through.

Monday, March 5, 2012

What's Next?

We are still spinning from our surprise referral of E! I keep staring at her sweet little face wishing I could just scoop her up. There are a few other families from our agency over at Hannah's Hope right now with their children, who I hope will be able to take a few pictures of E for us. We treasure any little glimpse of her!

Hannah's Hope is a very nice transition home that E will stay at until we can bring her home. Special "mothers" (caretakers), doctors, nurses, developmental toys, clothes, food, etc are available to her. Before E was at HH, she spent about a month in an orphanage. Before that, E lived in the Gambella region of ET with her family. Our sweet girl has experienced a lot of loss and heartache in her short little life that we hope to help her grieve and process through. We want to honor and protect her, as well as her family so we are keeping that part of her story private.

We were referred E on Feb 24th, which was her 3rd birthday. Yes, Oliver is only 7.5 months older than her! We look forward to watching them grow up together and can't wait to watch Oliver be a big brother. He already told the bank teller today that when he was a baby he used to live in Ethiopia until his mommy came and picked him up! So funny!

We had just finished up our referral paperwork only to learn we must update our Homestudy too. Sometimes I wonder if this paperwork process ever ends. Once we complete paperwork, we will be waiting for a court date which we expect to have in the next 2-3 months. When we have a court date we will fly to ET and spend about a week with E. Passing Ethiopian court will acknowledge that E is our daughter! The hard part of this is that we must return home without her, and wait for an Embassy appointment. Once we hear back from the Embassy (which likely will be a few months) we will fly back and spend another week in ET with E before flying home.

Obviously, leaving E in ET will be very difficult. She is old enough to grasp what is happening and we are concerned that she might feel we are abandoning her. Please pray for her little heart through all of this. We can't imagine all that she is having to go through.