Well, I'm not much of a blogger these days. I had plans to give frequent updates about Elsa's arrival home, but who has time for that? I've been busy wiping tears (sometimes my own), wiping bottoms, traveling to doctors appointments, playing referee, starting back to work, and well.....you saw the title of this post....
Falling in Love.
Elsa and I didn't have a history together. She came home to our family freaked out, while I reminisced about loving her the past 2 years inside my heart.
When our two worlds collided it was chaotic, hard, and scary. I quickly
became an expert in adoptive trauma care to her. I met her every need,
battled her every tantrum, and grieved with her every hurt.
Adopting a toddler is especially difficult because you must teach
boundaries, safety, discipline, not to mention establish trust. All the
while to a little person who already has a personality and opinion of
her own. When Elsa pushed me away, rejected me, I committed to be her
rock.
We were in this hard spot together.
And now 3 months in........ all of that hard work has paid off.
Our history began the moment she was placed in my arms for good.
That is when our love story began.....the
hard, the ugly, the pain has become the foundation to a deeply rooted
love for one another. She KNOWS I will never leave her. She KNOWS how
to trust me. She KNOWS she has a family that loves her fiercely.
Our history, although brief thus far, is
grafted in both of us. Moments that will bind us together for eternity.
I will never forget.......
Her peculiar ponder over the blue veins peeking through my pale skin, as I marveled at her stunning ebony face.
Her fascination with my hair....and mine with hers.
Every time she spontaneously comes to kiss or hug me.
Those dimples.
How brave she is. I can't even comprehend how such a tiny girl has taught me so much.
Teaching her to sing, "Jesus Loves Me."
Elsa teaching mama how to "entata," or dance.
That sweet, deep, belly laugh that she has.
The intense eye contact we share just before bedtime. Those were the quiet moments when we fell in love.
She has changed my world forever. Every hard moment was worth it. She is worth it.
