Today.

Today I am feeling antsy.

I want my new waiting list number.

I never would have guessed this monthly number would consume my thoughts the way it does. I think about how much closer it brings our family to seeing her.

And how in some weird way it makes her feel real.

Tangible.

I imagine her patiently waiting for her parents to speed along the list and find her.

Of course I don't know her face, her name, her story yet. But I hurt for those things every day.

I mentioned to Nate how much harder i thought the wait would be for us once we saw her. How much more i might want to hold her and kiss her. He smiled and kindly reminded me that the hard part will be holding her, loving her, bonding with her and then having to leave her and return home without her.

He is right.

Much harder days are in store.

Please say a prayer today for my daughter. Pray for her birthmother. Pray for their safety and health. And please pray for her adoptive Mama too, who is eager to know her.