One Year

Today marks one year since we began this adoption journey. I think back to where I was exactly one year ago today, and realize I am forever changed.

The story I believed I was living was that of a fertility challenged mom, hoping to bring a baby home. I believed that adoption was my backup to growing our family. Yet somehow I knew, even in the heartache of infertility, that God was working on me, and my heart. God had something so much bigger planned ahead.

I think back exactly one year ago today, and smile. I smile at what I know is in store for that girl. So much growth, joy, change, passion, strength, and newness to come over that year. Yes, and overwhelming heartache, challenges, and pain too.

Boy, what a year it has been.

A year I wouldn't change for anything.

One year ago today, I would think that we would be close to bringing our infant girl home from Ethiopia.

Now I know we may have another year ahead of us. And it may not be a baby coming home, but a toddler.

One year ago today, I believed I had experienced true heartache over infertility.

Now I know that my true heartache is grieving the faces of children all over the world who are sick, in pain, lonely, hungry, hopeless, and parentless. The sobs I have cried over those innocent children will never compare.

One year ago today life was about me.

Now I know what it feels like to die to myself, and find freedom in giving to others.

One year ago today I wanted another child to love.

Now I know that it is more than loving that child, and more about loving and advocating for millions.


Looking back in the rear view mirror I have never felt more alive than I have over this past year. A yo-yo of emotions, ups and downs, pitfalls, and unknowns.

But around every corner was God. His love surrounding this journey, guiding our path to our daughter.

Had I known the story of this past year ahead of time, I might have said "no." I might have been too scared, too stretched, and too uncomfortable.

I'm so thankful I didn't say no. I wouldn't trade this year for a hundred of not knowing what I know now. Yes, forever changed and so grateful for this journey.


Thank you to all my family and friends for holding my hand over this past year. I couldn't have done it without you.