Since we learned of this precious girl, we have been surviving on caffeine and pure adrenaline. Our hearts are bursting for her!
There is no doubt in our minds that she is meant to be in our family. We felt such peace as we learned her story.
We see that God has woven the intricate details of her life with ours.
I know many that have followed alongside our journey don't make claims to faith. I've been thankful that you have followed along anyhow, and hope you continue to do so. For us, there is no doubt in our minds that God has brought this stunning girl into our family. It is my hope that you will consider opening your own heart up to the idea of a loving God who wants you to have a relationship with Him.
He has been so faithful to us throughout this process. Today, our pastor spoke of how we usually seek God when we want something, or need something. When we find our lives in crisis, we turn to Him asking for help, wisdom, or intervention. We question God when things aren't going our way. I admit that my life has been filled with prayers like this.
I was busy asking for Him to help me and grant me what I want. Even at the beginning of this adoption, I was so fearful. Yes, choosing to adopt a child from a foreign country seems crazy to some, and is a huge leap of faith in itself. Yet my fear rested in the "what-ifs" and "unknowns" of a potential adoption. Initially, I thought the desires of my heart included a cute healthy infant girl....
As time went on I began seeking His wisdom in this process, and no longer was asking God for what I wanted anymore. I began praying powerful prayers asking God to "break my heart for what breaks His."
I began to change, to grow, to feel differently. I found myself crying often. I knew my heart had been truly busted open for "the least of these." I learned what the verses I read and the songs I sang in church really meant. God wants us to cry out to Him with our worries, but He ultimately wants us to realize that our only need in life first and foremost, is to know Him.
God understands that not knowing or trusting in Him is the hurt in each of us, and can only be cured in having an ongoing relationship with Him.
No longer was I praying to have a cute healthy infant girl, rather I began praying "your will be done, Lord. You know my wants and desires and you have wrecked me for the orphan. I no longer want to hold onto the reigns God, here...it is YOURS. You are in control, not me. You lead my way."
This has been my prayer ever since. I admit that it was a scary prayer for me the first time. It was new terrain I had never stepped on before, giving my whole being and life over to Him. Yet this is what He wants and needs from each of us. Finally doing so has given me such a fulfillment of peace and security. Yes, some days are hard but ultimately I know that He is in control.
With a new mindset and heart we opened our adoptions parameters up. This is when I no longer yearned for a biological child, but rather my adoptive child.
I knew that adoption is something our family was meant to grow by.
We were excited for whatever child (or children) God had in store for us. We knew that He was weaving a beautiful story, more beautiful than we could dream up ourselves.
The wait has been difficult, heart-wrenching at times. I want to encourage everyone who is going through the wait of adoption right now, that it is worth every hurt you feel, or tear you cry. God knows who your child will be, and it's true that His timing is best. I know the pain that you feel, but don't give up hope! Seek Him during this time of waiting. He is using it to mold you, refine you. He knows the desires of your heart, and loves you more than you can imagine. Put your trust in Him.
As the months went by we felt a strong pull about two specific names. Both names were boy names, as we imagined that our referral would be for a young boy. We combined them and had this special boy name picked out for our adoptive son in our minds.
When we learned of this little girl we were surprised to hear that her first name, happened to be our sister-in-laws name: "E".
It's a really cute name, by the way! We love it!
(We aren't allowed to share her name or picture at this time, sorry).
If that is not coincidence enough, here's where it gets a little insane......
When we received "E's" referral, we learned that her given middle and last name
HAPPENS TO BE THE VERY NAME WE HAD PICKED OUT FOR (what we thought was) OUR POTENTIAL SON!
Crazy I tell ya. Just Crazy. I had a huge smile plastered all over my face when I heard her full name. There was no question that she was meant for us!
We are humbled that God would bring this little miracle girl into our lives, and feel that we have already been blessed in insurmountable ways! Our little girl has already impacted so many lives in a positive way! We believe that she is meant for great things. We are the lucky ones that get to be a part of her story, the story that God is writing for her life.
My heart is so full.
