You are the God of my story....Write every line for your glory.

The past few weeks have been trying for me. I really appreciate all the excitement over not posting our January numbers.....it makes me think people actually read what I write here.

With that, our official January numbers are:

37 girl
29 boy
10 siblings

Now, let me explain what I've been dealing with these past few weeks.......

Truth be told this is a brutal, long, and painful process. These last weeks have been very difficult. Some days I feel like I'm grieving. I'm not sure if I'm grieving the loss of the timeline I had in my head, or rather if I'm grieving how I imagined my family would come together, or if I'm grieving the fact that Ethiopian adoptions have taken such a huge hit and these children are the ones impacted the most by it.

I suppose it is a combination of all of the above.

I've had some rough moments.
A few meltdowns.
I've wanted to give up.
Find an easier path.
Move on.

As I'm feeling so overwhelmed, burdened, and struggling with the heartache of it all..........it is so easy to forget how blessed I am to be on this path. Sometimes it's hard to ignore the desires I have for my own life, the hope for another child soon, that I quickly lose sight of where this adoption journey has brought me.



And as I reflect.......

I see Gods faithfulness in every step of this journey.


I doubt and He provides.
I question and He guides.
And when I lose hope, and am grieving, He is faithful.


He is my constant. He is my path. He is enough.
I will trust. I will follow. I will believe.

I will trust that our family will grow through the gift of adoption. That means trusting in His timing. He is using this time of waiting to refine me. Mold me. Change me. I can't deny that throughout this journey He has revealed himself to me in ways I never could have imagined. He has busted my heart into a million pieces (about 147 million, in fact) for the true HURTS of this world.

I will follow where He leads. Adoption is where He is leading our family. At the beginning of this decision I was so fearful of the unknowns, and the what-ifs. I have found a new perspective and openness to the true needs of orphans in this world and continue to seek Him, and follow.

I will believe that He is enough. He holds my heart in His hands, as He does with every child in need of a family. I believe that God is weaving a beautiful, intricate story with our adoption. I believe He brought us to it, and He will bring us through it.

There are risks ahead.
There are unknowns, guaranteed.
There will be more painful days to come.

Yet He is my comfort. He is my peace. He is where my hope is found.