I’m having a bad day.
Today I wish I had a baby in my arms. I wish things weren’t going to take so long, I wish my body worked the way I wanted it to, I wish money wasn’t such an issue to move forward with the adoption, I wish this process wasn’t so time consuming and arduous. I wish I had more answers than questions. I wish I could keep these tears from coming.
Yes, I’m having a bad day. Maybe it is because I am exhausted from working so many busy nights in a row and I am sleep deprived and missing my family. Or maybe it’s because bad days are going to happen in life, even when I have so much to be thankful for.
And I do have more blessings than I can count. One of them is my husband Nate. He knows just how to soothe my weary heart when he finds me in a slump of tears on the couch. Seeing a mess of a girl who wished things were a little bit easier.
With a gentle arm around me he knows just how to quiet me with a nudging reminder that we are called to a different path in life. One we didn’t anticipate, but an important one. That there is a child for us, and even though I didn’t physically carry this child my heart will hold our baby until we meet. I am reminded of what a privilege it will be to become a mother again.
My husband’s calming words pacify me for now. I know that today is just one bad day in an abundance of good ones.
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