Orientation Call

Notice the thermometer rising?

I know some giving people.

I am sitting back in awe at this point. We are inching close to our first goal, and the chance to move forward with this process. I must admit I've been a ball of nerves about the financial aspect of this adoption. It is an uneasy feeling to think about the total I need to raise to move on.

Now, nearing the half-way point of our first fundraising goal....and I am allowing myself to feel a little sigh of relief.

A couple days ago we had our official orientation. We learned a little more about the process, and what to expect throughout this experience. An interesting twist of events (otherwise known as bomb dropping news) is that you can no longer choose the gender you would like to adopt. You can make a preference, but you must be open to either gender. The adoption agency is doing this because it will decrease the wait time for an infant, and because it turns out boys are much harder to adopt out than the girls.

I'm still hopeful that our family would be more inclined to have a daughter because we already have a son...but we will see. I'm surprisingly taking the news with a pretty even-keel.

Stay tuned for more upcoming events. A garage sale this weekend (hopefully the weather cooperates), more furniture up for auction, and keep your eyes peeled for adoption t-shirts.

Ransom

Ransom is the practice of holding a prisoner or item to extort money or property to secure their release, or it can refer to the sum of money involved.

When ransom means "payment", the word comes via Old French rançon from Latin redemptio = "buying back":^[2] compare "redemption".

I think about the "ransom" set before us to bring our child home and it is a sacrifice. A sacrifice of our time, our money, our resources, and our energy. Yet nothing will deter me from fighting to bring this baby home.

This ransom is for a life.

This child is worth any amount of sacrifice.

I will continue to push forward and ask that others will join in our fight to bring our child home. Partner with us and invest in the life of this child.

This child is worth the sacrifice.

What a unique opportunity to participate in that. I know $50 is a lot of money for most. It is a tank of gas, utility bill, or grocery trip. If some of you are hesitant to give because you don't think a small donation will make a difference, please know that I value any amount given. Any donation helps. If you can't sacrifice $50, then what about $25? $15? $10? Every little bit adds up.

Adoption Costs Broken Down.
(because we all know it's daunting to look at raising $30,000)

1000 people giving $30 is an adoption paid for.

500 people giving $60 is an adoption paid for.

100 people giving $300 is an adoption paid for.

Pretty amazing when you think about.

The ransom before me is worth any amount of sacrifice. I am reminded that the end of this journey is rewarded with that of redemption.

In considering the ransom we must pay to receive our child, I reflect on the ransom that was paid on my behalf. Jesus paid my ransom on the cross. He sacrificed his life for mine. He did this for me.

He did this for you.

What are you willing to sacrifice for another?

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45

Inspired by the Road Less Travelled

Furniture for a Cause

Sold!

Thank you for those who participated, and keep an eye out for more to come. I will miss this one!

Update: Somebody reminded me to put the dresser's dimensions up!

72'' long
18'' wide
30'' tall





I have to say I am pretty proud of this. I have had this Basset dresser in the garage for a while, contemplating what I was going to do with it. It is a solid, large piece. This ain't no Ikea made dresser. (A little of my Texan roots coming out for you).

At the garage sale last weekend I had a few people asking to buy it, but it wasn't quite finished yet. I had plans for this gem...

I promise these pictures do not do justice!

I love all of the intricate wood detailing on the front and thought it might be fun to make that part stand out a bit more. What better way to do that than paint it a fun Tiffany Blue color?!

So, I started painting.

And painting....

And painting....

This sucker took a lot of paint!

Then I distressed it and I LOVE IT. I adore it. It is even prettier in person.

My original plan was to use it in the TV room and mount the flat screen above it. I think it would work great in a kids room, or dining room too. I dig the pop of color.

Although I am quite fond of this dresser I have decided to offer it up to a silent auction. The auction will take place Until Monday April 26th at 5pm. The highest bidder will take home this beauty. Starting bid: $135

Of course, all proceeds will benefit my upcoming adoption!

To place a bid email me at kerrikuykendall@hotmail.com

Happy Bidding!!

Linked up to Debbiedoos

Truth Be Told

Throwing all my personal stuff out there for anybody and everybody to read is hard.

It feels scary.

It feels uncomfortable.

I rarely offer up this kind of information about myself unless I am asked personally. I think that it is a topic that is not openly discussed very often. But it should be.

Many woman struggle with infertility or miscarriage. Why don’t we talk about it? Do we blame ourselves? Feel shamed? Are we afraid to let others know about our silent fight? I know for each woman it is a deeply seeded and personal agony that we often times keep to ourselves.

It took the prodding of someone who has adopted three children to say to me, “Kerri-you need to share this with people.”

Now, I am a pretty private person, and consider myself to be on the shy side. Even so, I am glad I finally put this information about myself out in cyber-land, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

What has surprised me through this “coming out” process is that many of you have these same struggles. Many of you have felt the pain of infertility, the hurt of miscarriage. Many of you have wondered if this will be an issue sometime down the road.

I truly am touched by your willingness to share your stories with me. Dear friends have shared with me along side with others I have never met. We all have very similar experiences.

I am amazed at hearing from those who have a heart for adoption as well. Again, people I have known my whole life along with strangers have reached out to me and expressed their desire to one day adopt. I am inspired by you all.

With each person who reaches out to me and tells me their story, or offers me words of encouragement and support, I feel the “uncomfortable” part of being an open book start to slip away. I am starting to feel more at ease with this, knowing that maybe I am making a small difference in helping someone else cope with a loss, or consider the opportunity to adopt.

That alone is more than I could have ever asked for.

In a big way, this blog has been cathartic. The rally of love I have received is so heartwarming. To hear others tell me I am an inspiration feels backwards, because all of you are truly inspiring me.

If I can motivate someone else to consider adoption, I feel it is worth any bit of discomfort I might have felt in the beginning of this process. If I am a safe place to fall for someone who struggles with infertility, than I am happy to continue sharing my story. No matter how hard or scary it may feel.

Again, thank you for sending all your love my way. Please keep spreading the word, and keep sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. I love it!

Let’s talk about something besides fundraising

I have had numerous people tell me that what I am doing is really “noble.” That bringing a child into a home which can provide adequately to meet their needs is incredibly giving. The truth of the matter is, what I am doing is entirely to fulfill my own selfish-intensions.

I did not seek out to adopt a child to relieve them from their poverty-stricken life, to offer them a new beginning, clothes, food, shelter, or education. I decided to adopt because I am longing to fill a void I have deep within the furrows of my heart. This adoption initially started with me.

"This is probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my life. The hardest and yet the most beautiful. As I sit here and type these words my heart still aches for what I don’t have. At least not in my timing. As this journey unfolds I have been broken, devastated, and on my knees. Yet there is beauty in this brokenness, hope in this devastation, and peace in this process. I have learned through this experience that the story God writes is far more splendid than what I could imagine for myself. I’ve also discovered that when He closes a door, there is always an open window."

Let me make clear that what my heart ached for was my own biological child. The beautiful part of this experience is that my heart has opened up to loving another child who is not biologically my own. I view this as a gift.

My adoptive child will be a blessing. A blessing that will meet the longing in my heart. Fill my void. Bless my life. This child will meet my yearning to expand our family. See, this journey started with me.

But there is another side to this equation.

I do not know what it feels like to be adopted. I do not understand how it feels to not look like your family. I do not comprehend the sense of loss a child may feel to not share the same culture as his/her parents and siblings.

When I bring our child home from Ethiopia, I will feel a sense of closure. I will fill a void. I will receive a blessing. For this child however, it may mark the beginning of a potentially life-long struggle to grow up and adjust to what it feels like to always “be different.”

A direct quote from someone who has experienced this struggle first hand:

“For the adoptee, this is the beginning mark of those hurdles. The only real difference here is that those hurdles will never end, as they will for you. This will always hurt forever somewhere in their heart, the indescribable sense of loss, confusion, and emptiness. And I would like nothing more than to ask that you realize this is where you step in. This is where you pick up the broken pieces and you do your best to hold them. This is where you understand nothing in the world will allow you to put the shattered remains back together, because sometimes nothing short of God will fix the damage done.”

Heavy stuff. I must admit I felt rattled when I initially received this email.

The truth is, although there is great joy in this process there is also a great sentiment of sorrow that comes along with adopting. Ethiopia grieves at the loss of a child they do not have the means to care for. The birth family has to make the sacrificing decision to offer a child up for adoption. A child they wish they could provide for. Even “abandoned” children are often times well cared for….. .“abandoned” in safe places, bathed, and dressed, with hair beautifully braided. Somebody loved them.

I can’t imagine making this painful decision. Or what it feels like being part of a Nation that mourns the ability to provide for its children.

I know not all of you who read my blog make claims to faith, or believe in God. I hope you will continue to stay-tuned anyhow. It is important for you to know that I believe God is a huge part of this story, and is the one in control of where it is headed. I am stepping out in faith with this, knowing that God can take brokenness and mold it into something beautiful. He can take wrecked ashes and turn them into something brilliant.

What started with me and my own selfish intentions has molded into something much greater than that. God has held me in my brokenness and turned my ashes into something magnificent. I cling to this knowledge as I move forward with adoption. I pray that my child will feel the same way as he/she grows up.

I don’t know how everything will unfold, but my hope is that I will have a realistic view of the road ahead. I can only hope that my child will feel a sense of security, comfort, and acceptance by everyone they encounter throughout their precious life. The mama bear in me wants to take away any hardships my child will face, but the truth of the matter is; I don’t know what it feels like to be adopted.

One thing I have decided is that my focus will not rest in the sadness that comes along with adopting. I will not center my thoughts on how big this storm ahead may be. Instead, I will show this storm of how big my God is.

Garage Sale

Update: Our impromptu garage sale was fairly successful. We were able to raise $208! The best part was getting the chance to meet some great people throughout the day. We feel so encouraged as we continue with this process. In addition to our garage sale funds, we received an additional $150 in donations today. Amazing!

We are having our first of many garage sales tomorrow. Nate and I decided last minute to run around the house and offer up whatever we can live without to the sale. We are hoping that we will have a nice chunk of money by the end of the day to put towards the adoption.

We are needing to reach or first goal of $10,ooo by July at the latest. If we can find the means before then, it will allow us to move forward with the adoption process. We are hoping things will fall into place and our means will be provided in a timely manner! We are already so thankful for the $1000 people have pledged/donated.

This brings me to the topic of another upcoming fundraiser. Happy Valley has an annual city-wide garage sale June 25-27. We are planning on participating, and it is our hope that we can find friends/family who are willing to donate to our sale. I have heard of other families raising as much as $3000 towards their adoption by having generous supporters who are willing to offer up their goods. So, before you make a trip to Goodwill, think about dropping it off at my house so I can store it up for the sale! I'm hoping to make it a blow-out!

If you are in the neighborhood tomorrow, swing on by :)

In Response to Some Negativity

What an outpouring we have received. Nate and I chuckle every time we noticed the "hit count" going up on this website....now, well over 1,000 hits in just a couple days :)

You people are blessing us.

Blessing me in ways you can’t imagine! Blessing my heart, easing my stress, and encouraging this process along. I have heard from family, close friends, old friends, and even strangers. It is so wonderful! Every sweet email, text, phone call, and Facebook message has been a much needed torrent of support. We cannot express the gratitude we feel to those who are donating, fundraising, and praying for us. It is very uplifting to know that we have all of you backing us, and want to share with you our deep, sincere appreciation.

I desperately want to reply to everyone, so I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to reach some of you specifically. Your kindness has not gone unnoticed!

In the midst of all of this love we are feeling, I am surprised by how one negative comment can bring me down. I’m not going to dwell on this one rude comment, but I am going to address it and then forget about it. I would much rather remember all of the kind, loving words I am hearing.

I am absolutely open to questions, and happy to answer them as long as they are asked in a respectful manner. I will give you the utmost respect as well in my response. Here is my response to the following question (which I personally feel was asked in negativity):

Question: "Not to rain on your parade or anything... but why not adopt a child from America? Are you aware that our rate of orphaned children or children living in unfit environments is almost 1:1 with that of 3rd world countries?”

My Response:

I want you to know that I have spent well over a month researching adoption. I have treated it like a part-time job, and it has literally taken me hours to feel well-versed in this process. I still have much to learn, but the decision to adopt internationally was not made lightly.

I argue that your statement regarding orphaned children or those living in unfit environments as being 1:1 with that of third-world countries, to be untrue. Africa alone has somewhere along the lines of 6 million orphans. I will do my best to address why we have chosen this adoption path.

Originally, I was open to domestic adoption, and international adoption. I never really considered foster-adoption because many of the children are unfortunately never relinquished from their parents, and therefore not available for adoption. There are a large number of special needs children available, and that is an area of circumstance that I feel would be too overwhelming for our family. I was also advised against foster adoption from a family who experienced it first hand, and the YEARS of paperwork, heartache, and struggle to finally conclude their adoption, was more than I feel ready to dive into.

I have decided against domestic adoption for several reasons. One is that there tends to be a much longer waiting period (2+ years). Also, working first hand in a birth center I see young mothers who plan to adopt their child, and change their mind once the child is born. As you can imagine, placing a child up for adoption is a heart-wrenching experience for anyone, no matter what the circumstances are. It is also my understanding that a birthmother can decide to keep her baby up to 10 days after he/she has been sent home with the adoptive family. The truth of the matter is my heart couldn’t handle a birth mother changing her mind about the adoption.

This brings me to our decision to adopt internationally. The bottom line is my heart goes out to these children in third-world countries. I have felt a strong pull in this direction for some time now. Our child will not be born in America, but my answer to that is “so what.” Children born in America are no different than children in third-world countries. They are all precious innocent children.

A child from Ethiopia is of no less importance or need than a child from the U.S. I see no point in arguing that an American-born child has any more merit or worth than a child born in a third-world country. They ALL need loving homes. For the most part I think it is safe to say that our foster/orphan situation is nowhere near the poverty and devastation that is seen in these countries abroad. Cribs lined up row-after-row, the swollen bellies from malnourishment, tattered clothes, lack of shoes-that is REAL LIFE for these children in orphanages abroad.

I commend adoption in any regard-foster, domestic, or international. I really feel like it is something that shouldn’t be judged or questioned when someone decides to adopt. It comes down to a personal decision, and one that I think other adoptive parents take very seriously.

I know not everyone is always going to like me or agree with what I am doing, and that is ok. I am not living my life to please anyone else; I am living my life the best way I see fit. My priorities fall to my faith, family, and friends, and believe me when I say that is all I need. The proof is in the outburst of support I have already received.

I am going to bed with a smile on my face tonight, knowing that I have a congregation of people who have my back. And I must admit that it feels pretty dang good.

Coffee Anyone?

I am a lover of all things coffee. Us Northwest folk take it very seriously! The smell of a fresh pot is intoxicating! It's an instant "pick me up" in the mornings when the coffee pot is brewing.

Has anyone ever tried Just Love Coffee? I will admit I have never tried it, but have heard reviews that it is some of the BEST coffee people have had. Yup, better than Starbucks!

I was thrilled when I heard that the company offers fund raising support for families trying to adopt. I have set up a shop, and you can order coffee directly off the website here.

$5 of every coffee purchase goes directly to our adoption fund! So awesome!

I need people who are willing to take orders. I'm not expecting anyone to go door to door, or anything, but maybe take up orders from people you work with? It is similar to how you order girl scout cookies. Our goal is to raise $2,000.....which means there is a lot of coffee to sell!

www.justlovecoffee.com/heartethiopia

Spread the love!

Provision

I know this process will be arduous, but I wasn't anticipating problems this early! I received a call from our adoption agency, as they wanted to review some of our information. I think I have given myself an ulcer worrying about what the only problem standing in our way is....money.

Our plan all along was to take out a loan to cover the $30,000 this adoption will cost. I figured, it would be similar to a car payment, and take approximately 5 years to pay off. I am now finding out that it is important to show you have a certain percentage of positive net-worth for the Ethiopian government to accept you as an adoptive parent. Sure the banks will give us a loan, but it would not allow us to have enough of a positive net-worth to continue on with this process.

The only reason this is even an issue is because we have just purchased a beautiful new house! A place where we are so excited to raise a family. Even so, had we known our finances would be exhausted from infertility treatments, or had the calling to adopt before we made the decision to purchase a home, we never would have moved.

So, this is a hard pill for me to swallow. I am trying to not get discouraged, and I have faith that this will all work out. I am willing to put in the work to fund raise until I'm blue-in-the-face, coupon clip, penny-pinch, or have yard sales every weekend. But the truth of the matter is that we need help.

Being on the receiving end is not easy. It is hard for us to ask for help, especially since we have been so blessed in life. Believe me when I say I would much rather be on the giving end.

It is my hope that I can reach 600 people to donate $50 dollars. This would cover the entire cost of our adoption and bring our baby home from Ethiopia! It is essential that I find $10,000 in the next 90 days, or I will lose the money we have put down towards our application process.

Yes, the thought of this task is overwhelming because I don't know 600 people, nor do I have $10,000! But I know 300 people, and maybe through word of mouth we can reach other people who have been touched by adoption and want to help.

I realize that all of this will happen in God's timing. He is the center of our lives and I believe it is through Him that our needs will be met.

Don't waste your life in doubts and fears: spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

New information

We attended an informational meeting last night, and learned a little bit about the adoption process. I was shocked to hear that China has a 4 year waiting period before a child will be placed. That is crazy! I thought 12-18 months seemed like a long time.

Some disappointing points in the adoption process is to hear that most agencies have a "pregnancy rule." This means that if the adopting couple were to get pregnant during the adoption process, the adoption would be terminated. No money will be refunded, but wait it gets worse. Moreover, the most devastating part of this is if you have already been referred a child, and became pregnant.....not only would you lose that sweet child, the child will NEVER have the opportunity to be adopted again by ANYONE.

Once a child is referred and the adoption falls through for any reason (including a pregnancy), the Ethiopian courts require that the child will never be up for adoption again. They will spend the rest of their lives in an orphanage. This is heart-breaking to me. It seems that a loving family, even with a biological child on the way is a much better place for any child, rather than an orphanage. This is really discouraging to hear and still leaves a pit in my stomach to think about.

I understand the logic behind it, but it is still hard to take in. I know it is in hopes of creating an attachment and bond with the adoptive family, and an additional new baby in the mix could jeopardize this. Adoptive children have already experienced great loss in their lives, and the adoption agencies want to give them the best start with their new life and family, as possible.

In light of the pregnancy rule there were some nice things to hear about the adoption process. It turns out that Ethiopia is one of the better programs available. They have well cared for children, current medical information, and people working at the orphanages who really, truly care for these children and have their best interest at heart. This information is reassuring. There is also a large number of Ethiopian adoptive families in the Portland area who network. It will be nice to have resources and play group opportunities in the future.

For families with no children, or with daughters, they are usually required to adopt a boy. Because we have Oliver, we are able to chose our gender and qualify for a little girl to adopt. Of course, the thought of a girl makes me jump up and down with glee! Nate on the other hand isn't so sure.

We are waiting to hear back from our official application, so keep us in your thoughts. This is an exciting time for us!