New information

We attended an informational meeting last night, and learned a little bit about the adoption process. I was shocked to hear that China has a 4 year waiting period before a child will be placed. That is crazy! I thought 12-18 months seemed like a long time.

Some disappointing points in the adoption process is to hear that most agencies have a "pregnancy rule." This means that if the adopting couple were to get pregnant during the adoption process, the adoption would be terminated. No money will be refunded, but wait it gets worse. Moreover, the most devastating part of this is if you have already been referred a child, and became pregnant.....not only would you lose that sweet child, the child will NEVER have the opportunity to be adopted again by ANYONE.

Once a child is referred and the adoption falls through for any reason (including a pregnancy), the Ethiopian courts require that the child will never be up for adoption again. They will spend the rest of their lives in an orphanage. This is heart-breaking to me. It seems that a loving family, even with a biological child on the way is a much better place for any child, rather than an orphanage. This is really discouraging to hear and still leaves a pit in my stomach to think about.

I understand the logic behind it, but it is still hard to take in. I know it is in hopes of creating an attachment and bond with the adoptive family, and an additional new baby in the mix could jeopardize this. Adoptive children have already experienced great loss in their lives, and the adoption agencies want to give them the best start with their new life and family, as possible.

In light of the pregnancy rule there were some nice things to hear about the adoption process. It turns out that Ethiopia is one of the better programs available. They have well cared for children, current medical information, and people working at the orphanages who really, truly care for these children and have their best interest at heart. This information is reassuring. There is also a large number of Ethiopian adoptive families in the Portland area who network. It will be nice to have resources and play group opportunities in the future.

For families with no children, or with daughters, they are usually required to adopt a boy. Because we have Oliver, we are able to chose our gender and qualify for a little girl to adopt. Of course, the thought of a girl makes me jump up and down with glee! Nate on the other hand isn't so sure.

We are waiting to hear back from our official application, so keep us in your thoughts. This is an exciting time for us!