In Response to Some Negativity

What an outpouring we have received. Nate and I chuckle every time we noticed the "hit count" going up on this website....now, well over 1,000 hits in just a couple days :)

You people are blessing us.

Blessing me in ways you can’t imagine! Blessing my heart, easing my stress, and encouraging this process along. I have heard from family, close friends, old friends, and even strangers. It is so wonderful! Every sweet email, text, phone call, and Facebook message has been a much needed torrent of support. We cannot express the gratitude we feel to those who are donating, fundraising, and praying for us. It is very uplifting to know that we have all of you backing us, and want to share with you our deep, sincere appreciation.

I desperately want to reply to everyone, so I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to reach some of you specifically. Your kindness has not gone unnoticed!

In the midst of all of this love we are feeling, I am surprised by how one negative comment can bring me down. I’m not going to dwell on this one rude comment, but I am going to address it and then forget about it. I would much rather remember all of the kind, loving words I am hearing.

I am absolutely open to questions, and happy to answer them as long as they are asked in a respectful manner. I will give you the utmost respect as well in my response. Here is my response to the following question (which I personally feel was asked in negativity):

Question: "Not to rain on your parade or anything... but why not adopt a child from America? Are you aware that our rate of orphaned children or children living in unfit environments is almost 1:1 with that of 3rd world countries?”

My Response:

I want you to know that I have spent well over a month researching adoption. I have treated it like a part-time job, and it has literally taken me hours to feel well-versed in this process. I still have much to learn, but the decision to adopt internationally was not made lightly.

I argue that your statement regarding orphaned children or those living in unfit environments as being 1:1 with that of third-world countries, to be untrue. Africa alone has somewhere along the lines of 6 million orphans. I will do my best to address why we have chosen this adoption path.

Originally, I was open to domestic adoption, and international adoption. I never really considered foster-adoption because many of the children are unfortunately never relinquished from their parents, and therefore not available for adoption. There are a large number of special needs children available, and that is an area of circumstance that I feel would be too overwhelming for our family. I was also advised against foster adoption from a family who experienced it first hand, and the YEARS of paperwork, heartache, and struggle to finally conclude their adoption, was more than I feel ready to dive into.

I have decided against domestic adoption for several reasons. One is that there tends to be a much longer waiting period (2+ years). Also, working first hand in a birth center I see young mothers who plan to adopt their child, and change their mind once the child is born. As you can imagine, placing a child up for adoption is a heart-wrenching experience for anyone, no matter what the circumstances are. It is also my understanding that a birthmother can decide to keep her baby up to 10 days after he/she has been sent home with the adoptive family. The truth of the matter is my heart couldn’t handle a birth mother changing her mind about the adoption.

This brings me to our decision to adopt internationally. The bottom line is my heart goes out to these children in third-world countries. I have felt a strong pull in this direction for some time now. Our child will not be born in America, but my answer to that is “so what.” Children born in America are no different than children in third-world countries. They are all precious innocent children.

A child from Ethiopia is of no less importance or need than a child from the U.S. I see no point in arguing that an American-born child has any more merit or worth than a child born in a third-world country. They ALL need loving homes. For the most part I think it is safe to say that our foster/orphan situation is nowhere near the poverty and devastation that is seen in these countries abroad. Cribs lined up row-after-row, the swollen bellies from malnourishment, tattered clothes, lack of shoes-that is REAL LIFE for these children in orphanages abroad.

I commend adoption in any regard-foster, domestic, or international. I really feel like it is something that shouldn’t be judged or questioned when someone decides to adopt. It comes down to a personal decision, and one that I think other adoptive parents take very seriously.

I know not everyone is always going to like me or agree with what I am doing, and that is ok. I am not living my life to please anyone else; I am living my life the best way I see fit. My priorities fall to my faith, family, and friends, and believe me when I say that is all I need. The proof is in the outburst of support I have already received.

I am going to bed with a smile on my face tonight, knowing that I have a congregation of people who have my back. And I must admit that it feels pretty dang good.